31 Years of Learning: A Birthday Reflection
Another year older and I’ve been thinking a lot about what the last 31 years have taught me. I used to believe reflection had to be neat, something you could sum up in a pretty quote or a quick life lesson. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that life doesn’t come with clean lines. It’s messy, complicated, often frustrating, but also deeply beautiful in ways I didn’t always know how to see.
One of the biggest things I’ve learned is how much resistance lives in me. Not just the resistance to injustice, though that’s always been there. I’ve discovered my resistance to letting systems break me. My resistance to being turned bitter by the world. I’ve had to learn that resistance is more than fighting. It’s surviving, it’s creating, it’s loving in the face of everything trying to make you numb. And it’s not something you do alone.
Community saved me in ways I didn’t have the words for when I was younger. I used to think I had to do everything myself. I used to think asking for help meant weakness. But my community has taught me otherwise. It’s shown me the strength in showing up for people and letting them show up for me. I’ve learned the power of chosen families, the people who love you in your rawest form, who remind you who you are when the world tries to make you forget. Blood isn’t the only thing that makes a family, and I am grateful every day for the family I’ve built and the ones who have claimed me.
I’ve also spent a lot of time wrestling with my own black and white thinking about justice. When I was younger, everything felt so simple. Right or wrong. Good or bad. Fix it or burn it down. Now I understand that justice is complicated. It’s nuanced. It’s messy and flawed and human. I still believe in fighting for what’s right, but I also believe in grace. I believe in growth. I believe in looking for the root of harm instead of only punishing the harm itself. Justice is about transformation, not just retribution, and I’m still learning what that looks like in real time.
It’s not lost on me that I’m living through an era where strife feels constant. Where every headline is another reminder that the world is hurting. But it’s also shown me who I am. I am someone who refuses to look away. Someone who will continue to believe in people even when they disappoint me. Someone who will create joy in places where despair is trying to settle in. Someone who knows the power of softness in a world that tries to harden you.
Looking forward, I know what I want. I want to build a life where I can thrive while still being in service to others. I want to be part of communities that nourish me as much as I pour into them. I want to create art that speaks to people, that helps them feel seen or understood. I want to make space for happiness even in the hardest seasons. I want to keep finding light, keep making joy, keep planting seeds of hope in places people forgot to look.
I want to keep becoming. Not a perfect version of myself, but a version that is honest, whole, and alive. I want to lean into the messy, complicated beauty of this life and leave things better than I found them.
That’s my wish for this next year. To live fully, to love deeply, and to keep showing up.
